To quote Immanuel Kant: ‘Everything is psychology!’

If we accept this fact, which we truly should, then the state of acceptance will be changed to understanding. And not just because our life will be so much easier and more understandable, but it will… Oh wait, no. As a matter of fact, just because of this. If we can understand our own psychology, our life will be so much easier, and more understandable.

We want to believe, or more like think, that everything what happens to us is unique, despite the truth that human behavior and reacting to certain kinds of situations is universal.

It is all the same concerning the process of losing weight! The truth is that a universal reaction occurs for everyone, and it is there every time someone starts that process.

That reaction is that you start your new diet but also expect results instantly. And don’t get me wrong, results are going to be there, but this whole ‘losing weight’ thing requires primarily self-discipline and consistency. And now we are at our first topic.

We are right before the first day of your new diet, and inside you there is so much anger and the need to do something with your body. You really prepare to change your lifestyle, like you are about to embark on a Mars expedition. You buy everything for the new diet, and while doing so you really think yourself to be strong.

That’s it!

Yeah, now you truly believe that this is the program you will get done. You buy the chicken, the fish, the vegetables, and you have the feeling that now is the time. You feel that something very good is about to happen to you. And it’s no surprise that you feel that, because it is truly a great thing. Still, most people also think that with this preparation they have actually done something for themselves. But believe me, this is still nothing.

Do you know how much is this?

This is like you prepare for a great date, but you only manage to get dressed, do the makeup, so the average 4-hour procedure. Yeah, you are truly prepared, yes, you look attractive, and yes, you are a princess and such bullshit, still, nothing will happen if you just stand in front of that mirror gazing upon yourself. It’s nothing. You must go to that fancy date of yours, and to the second, to the third, even to the twentieth! You must build the connection and believe in it, otherwise there will be no relationship, Facebook statement, not to mention the extremely cute joint profile picture.

So, this is how you can imagine that ‘buying’ process. Nothing will happen just because you prepare, because no one has ever lost weight just because of preparation, just because the healthy food is in the fridge. You must eat that food, but only that, and not just on the first day but on the next seventy days as well.

But we are still before the first day of your new diet.

And here is the first trap, when you buy everything and decide that you eat some shit because this is the last time you will, because from tomorrow your life will change.

Why? What for? Do you even realise how stupid that is? Like you want to get your home cleaned but first you go down to the trash bin get some shit and throw it into your room. You don’t do that, so why do you wolf down some shit before your new diet? So, that you could start dealing with an even worse situation?

Now there are some problems with this

What you eat today, you will fatten from it later too
And you will start your first day with a so extreme hunger for carbohydrates that you won’t even bother with your new diet. At this early stage, you are not the ‘I will do it, whatever it takes’ kind of girl. Not jet. You will be if you see it through, but don’t harden your life unnecessarily.
Don’t throw trash into your home before cleaning, and don’t eat some shit before your new diet because ‘you will start tomorrow’. NO. Your new diet doesn’t start tomorrow; it starts when you decide that you want to change.

Your diet doesn’t start tomorrow and it doesn’t start with food. It starts in your mind. It starts when you decide that you want to change.

We all want everything now. There comes a desire, a feeling, which you want to be satisfied right then right there. This is also true for losing weight. For weeks or months, you have torn yourself apart, because of your body and thought that you need a change. Then suddenly, out of nowhere, there comes the feeling that now is the time, that now you get it done, like really. That you can do it, you want it, and that you won’t eat shit anymore, that you go down to the gym and get it done. And it could easily be the case that such huge and dramatic thoughts come into your mind after you get loaded, but they truly come right then.

Let’s suppose that you really start it. The relief and the happiness that you will lose weight just make you fly down to the gym and you think you are well above the clouds that nothing can get you down. It’s a wonderful feeling, I know. You get yourself to the gym, exercise like a pro athlete. The anger of so many wasted weeks and months is now working inside you, and you use that to be determined, as you should do so. You feel so much strength inside you as people usually do on their first day. You know, like when you push you cycle and accelerate when you see the steep hill. During the first few meters you can maintain your speed, but the hill just goes on and on, after a while you must put your effort into it, because the starting momentum fades, and you must go on on your own.

The first training is like this. You go down, get it through using your momentum, without any difficulty. Yes, you are right, the training is not so difficult but your psyche gets the first slap, because what do you think you do during your first training? I repeat, on your first day? So, what?

Of course, you will look at yourself through the mirrors. Believe it or not there are women who lift a 3-kg weight and do 12 reps just put it down and start to look for changes in the mirror.

Nothing has changed. But to make sure we don’t misunderstand each other, after the third time, you still won’t notice any changes.

It is really important to understand that this whole body shaping thing requires patience, and it takes time. Not just time, but quality time, and by that, I mean that you dedicate yourself to your new diet, to the training, and you do them consistently.

Don’t look at yourself standing in front of mirrors after the first training looking for changes. Don’t do that because it will ruin your ambition. We all want to have results instantly after we have put effort into something, but this is just not the case here. And if you understand this you won’t lose your ambition at the beginning, and you will be able to keep up the hard work.

I connect this with patience. But this is more than looking at some mirrors. In this case, you stop looking at yourself in search for slenderness, but you want to hear feedback from other people instead, which can be summarised in one question.

‘Do you see something?’

Do you see now? Do you see that I’ve lost weight? And similar questions. At this time, we are still at the early stages of the process, but you started 6-8 days ago. Yes, you did well in that time, you ate according to your diet, you took training seriously, and you took the dietary supplements too. But because you are made of a woman, you need that feedback from others.

You need someone to admit that yes, you seem to have lost weight. But don’t ever forget that most people are just a prick and even if there seem to be any changes on your body, which is at least questionable after 6 days, they won’t admit that. So, your best option is not to ask it!

Don’t rush it!

Don’t ask if you look different. Wait for others to realise that you have changed and say that ‘Hey Sarah didn’t you lose weight? You look fabulous today!’. That is the feedback you should look for and not forcing others to say that, they might just want to avoid you being hurt by saying what they really see. Or just want you to leave them alone. And this is still the better way, because after a

-Do you see something?
-No, I don’t.

conversation will affect your psyche and gets you down. And the first few weeks are critical, with you finishing the first week, even a small comment could crack down your ambition.

You do the program. 25-30 days passed and now everyone can see the results of your effort. You see it in the mirror, you see it on your clothes, and your male colleges noticed the change. Most of them will tell it to you if your relationship allows them to, but the most genuine type of recognition is that they start to be more friendly and polite with you.

Well, women would cut their veins open before praising you. The only time when they admit that you did great is when they are curious how you did it.

Yes, now people see the change. You did great! And now you reached the next trap which most women can’t avoid, and you try some clothes on which not yet fit them, highlighting ‘yet’, so they haven’t lost that much weight. You look good in your current clothes, still you make a very childish decision and try one which just doesn’t fit you. Yet!

Now you face horrible moments, because of what you will see. You will see, that you look horrible in that smaller sized dress, it simply highlights those parts of your body which you have sworn to get rid of at the beginning, and all your ambition, your dedication leaves you as quick as a flash, and you start to feel terrible. Although nothing has happened, just you tried that too soon. Why on Earth would you try a 34 size when 36 or 38 fits you???

It just ruins your mindset! You were 40 when you started, now 38 easily fits you, if you are committed than 36, but no, you want to get ahead of yourself and force the 34-sized dress on your body.

Stop for a minute. Why the fuck are you in such a hurry? You have been doing your program for only 30 goddam days! If you have lived being fat for years than 90 days to lose that weight should be fine. After the first few success, don’t start buying new bikinis and trying unreally small sized costumes, because it will affect your mindset. And you won’t see that you are now 2 size minus, you will see yourself still looking horrible in those small clothes.

Don’t rush it! Don’t try small clothes because all you can get is a disappointment, and that is the last thing you need, especially when you are on a diet, and especially if you are a woman.

Focus on long term results and be realistic.

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